WOWZER! Can you really believe it's been OVER a YEAR since I blogged. Really quite sad! This was always such a wonderful way to get my thoughts and feelings rationalized and categorized--a great way for me to move on... Shame on me for digressing from such a healthy and peaceful pastime.
I suggest reading the rest AT YOUR OWN RISK as my thoughts have had a tendency to offend people as of late. Hence the blog. When I think too much or need help sorting out my brains, I write. And when I write, I drink. So yes, there is an open bottle of beer beside me... Yum.
There has been a multitude of thoughts circulating in my big ole pumpkin for quite some time and I still haven't made sense of it all... I understand A. Humans are sinners and B. We're totally works in progress. But knowing this doesn't necessarily make things easier. I trip up ALL the time, say things incorrectly, do things incorrectly, eat the wrong things--you get the idea. Some things that have been floating around inside of me are: homeschooling, a food revolution, simplifying all of our excess, Jesus, family dynamic and tragedy, parenting, divorce (not me), healthy and fulfilling friendships...
I have also been inside a personal reflection for the last few days. I realize two certain circumstances where I was able to offend people unintentionally. They did well at making me feel inadequate as a human being by pointing out some nasty truths about my character. It hurt, but I cannot fault them for speaking their mind and being honest as it is what I was doing when I offended them.
What really gets me to thinking beyond these isolated incidents (although I've had foot-in-mouth disease for YEARS) is about the reflection it invokes in me. Does it do the same for them? I spend a lot of time reviewing the things others have said to me after I've caused hurt with a genuine sadness at my actions. I mull over the scenario and look for things I could have said differently, shouldn't have said, my posture, my body language, my tone and dissect it so I can understand how I made them feel. I look at my life as compared to theirs and wonder how I am viewed in their eyes.
Most of us likely believe that the other would "never think about what it does to (me)!" Or how it makes me feel, blah blah blah. And I do wonder. I read a visual on Facebook today along the lines of how most 'right' people NEVER think it's them...ever. I don't want to believe that. When I offend someone by something I say I truly hope they reflect upon themselves like I do to me.
--I don't know if that makes any sense?!--
We are all so judgemental, AND WE KNOW IT. It is so difficult to change. I want to be a humble and thoughtful person full of grace, dignity, kindness, and FORGIVENESS. But letting go and loving people as they are is SO hard. Isn't it?!
I think we get pissy pants'd far too quickly also and are super fast at writing people off from our lives. I see lots of posts about how blood isn't thicker than water and how friends become family etc. It seems so many families have members who are not really 'members'. They are discounted, uninvited, not cared for or whatever. They are still FAMILY. Why do we feel the need to go create a family with members of another tribe? I'm not saying it's bad, just noticing. I realize the members we're given can often be draining and irritating and sandpaper-y... I figure I'm one of them.
You know, my parents mentioned periodically to me as a kid that they way you feel about someone is likely the same way they feel about you... I can honestly see my sandpaper people and acknowledge how they would see me the same way. Isn't that a perfect opportunity to practice grace, forgiveness and patience? Often it's the point we walk away and don't invite them for Thanksgiving dinner anymore.
Let me reassure you this post is not in any way meant to offend anyone. I make bad decisions in my posts on Facebook, texts and conversations and believe it or not I'm trying to improve.
It's always a little devastating when it comes to light that I am not important to someone I wish I was, or that someone really doesn't care for me. It's a real blow to the ego. Do they view it the same, I wonder. Not all people get along; it would kind of be a weird world if we did. Have you ever watched the movie The Invention of Lying? It's a good one.
I also realize when my ego gets hit like this and I step back and think about it, I come to terms with it and accept it. It's ok if we all don't get along but it is important to offer each other kindness. It isn't ok to wish people were a different way--then it wouldn't be them.
Is this post egotistical? Hmm, yes. Maybe I am an awful person. Thinking its all about me me me. But I AM the only one I can change... Ugh. There is just no winning. We're self centered beings. All I can do is keep trying.
I suggest reading the rest AT YOUR OWN RISK as my thoughts have had a tendency to offend people as of late. Hence the blog. When I think too much or need help sorting out my brains, I write. And when I write, I drink. So yes, there is an open bottle of beer beside me... Yum.
There has been a multitude of thoughts circulating in my big ole pumpkin for quite some time and I still haven't made sense of it all... I understand A. Humans are sinners and B. We're totally works in progress. But knowing this doesn't necessarily make things easier. I trip up ALL the time, say things incorrectly, do things incorrectly, eat the wrong things--you get the idea. Some things that have been floating around inside of me are: homeschooling, a food revolution, simplifying all of our excess, Jesus, family dynamic and tragedy, parenting, divorce (not me), healthy and fulfilling friendships...
I have also been inside a personal reflection for the last few days. I realize two certain circumstances where I was able to offend people unintentionally. They did well at making me feel inadequate as a human being by pointing out some nasty truths about my character. It hurt, but I cannot fault them for speaking their mind and being honest as it is what I was doing when I offended them.
What really gets me to thinking beyond these isolated incidents (although I've had foot-in-mouth disease for YEARS) is about the reflection it invokes in me. Does it do the same for them? I spend a lot of time reviewing the things others have said to me after I've caused hurt with a genuine sadness at my actions. I mull over the scenario and look for things I could have said differently, shouldn't have said, my posture, my body language, my tone and dissect it so I can understand how I made them feel. I look at my life as compared to theirs and wonder how I am viewed in their eyes.
Most of us likely believe that the other would "never think about what it does to (me)!" Or how it makes me feel, blah blah blah. And I do wonder. I read a visual on Facebook today along the lines of how most 'right' people NEVER think it's them...ever. I don't want to believe that. When I offend someone by something I say I truly hope they reflect upon themselves like I do to me.
--I don't know if that makes any sense?!--
We are all so judgemental, AND WE KNOW IT. It is so difficult to change. I want to be a humble and thoughtful person full of grace, dignity, kindness, and FORGIVENESS. But letting go and loving people as they are is SO hard. Isn't it?!
I think we get pissy pants'd far too quickly also and are super fast at writing people off from our lives. I see lots of posts about how blood isn't thicker than water and how friends become family etc. It seems so many families have members who are not really 'members'. They are discounted, uninvited, not cared for or whatever. They are still FAMILY. Why do we feel the need to go create a family with members of another tribe? I'm not saying it's bad, just noticing. I realize the members we're given can often be draining and irritating and sandpaper-y... I figure I'm one of them.
You know, my parents mentioned periodically to me as a kid that they way you feel about someone is likely the same way they feel about you... I can honestly see my sandpaper people and acknowledge how they would see me the same way. Isn't that a perfect opportunity to practice grace, forgiveness and patience? Often it's the point we walk away and don't invite them for Thanksgiving dinner anymore.
Let me reassure you this post is not in any way meant to offend anyone. I make bad decisions in my posts on Facebook, texts and conversations and believe it or not I'm trying to improve.
It's always a little devastating when it comes to light that I am not important to someone I wish I was, or that someone really doesn't care for me. It's a real blow to the ego. Do they view it the same, I wonder. Not all people get along; it would kind of be a weird world if we did. Have you ever watched the movie The Invention of Lying? It's a good one.
I also realize when my ego gets hit like this and I step back and think about it, I come to terms with it and accept it. It's ok if we all don't get along but it is important to offer each other kindness. It isn't ok to wish people were a different way--then it wouldn't be them.
Is this post egotistical? Hmm, yes. Maybe I am an awful person. Thinking its all about me me me. But I AM the only one I can change... Ugh. There is just no winning. We're self centered beings. All I can do is keep trying.
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