Sleepless Nights

Long time no blog, eh?

Truthfully, I just haven’t made it a priority.  I haven’t made scrap-booking the girl’s pictures a priority either.  Bad mom.  Or maybe good mom? Spending more of my days with just them.  And it keeps me busy and happy.  Oops.  There’s the dreaded word: busy.

I also wish I didn't have the ambition to blog right now.  But alas, I’m sitting in bed with my handy dandy laptop writing to you listening to my younger baby cry and cry in her crib.  Why?  I haven't the slightest notion.  This child has been the worst of all sleepers since the beginning of her time and quite frankly, I’m exhausted.  Near tears, in fact.  I know it’s “just a phase” and “some kids are bad sleepers” and all that can shove it where the sun don’t shine at the moment.  This sucks.  And please don’t litter me with all the “did you try’s?”

Aside from barely getting any sleep at night, life is pretty fine.  Heidi is, otherwise, a happy happy girl.  From the moment you see her in the morning she is happy as a lark and the only time she’s upset is when she needs to be fed.  Sometimes she gets cranky when she’s tired… and obviously sleeping isn't her favourite thing to do.

Thank God Nola is as good as sleeper as she is.  I remember watching her sleep through a raging hail storm one August long weekend with the door to the motor-home opening and closing continually as we made beds and fussed for alternative arrangements for our nieces.  All the while, Nola slept.  She did wake up last night in the middle of one of Heidi’s inconsolable fits… but easily turned over and went back to sleep.

So now I write.

And to say what?  I don’t have anything profound to say or share.  I suppose I’m mostly doing this to pass the time; out of boredom and knowing it is futile for me to bother laying my head down and try sleeping.  I’m sure I’ll remember this without fondness but miss the cute little day time one-year-old Heidi.  Kevin is beside me sleeping through it as best he can also, but Sykes is happily keeping me cat-company.  He doesn't seem to mind the crying.

So for my faraway relatives and friends who haven’t heard from me in a while might be wondering what I’m busy doing, aside from tending two of the cutest girls you ever saw.  As you might have known, I was selling Avon since last June.  I have since found a niche that makes me indescribably passionate and excited and it is learning and sharing and selling Young Living Essential Oils.  I learned about them through a friend in…November, maybe.  And I've been loving it ever since.  I didn't decide to try to make it a business until January and since then it’s been climbing higher and higher!  I LOVE the learning and the educating other people.  I like talking about them and helping empower other people to feel better.  Of course my interest was piqued mostly because of my Lupus and wanting to get it under control.  I couldn't help but start wondering what all my delicious medication were and will be doing to my liver and kidneys etc.  Well, I feel like my flares have gone down considerably and are more controlled and it’s thanks to NATURAL medicine!  I feel like I’m getting back to the salt of the earth, and although I have a LONG way to go to getting completely natural (and I might not get there) every little bit helps.  I feel good lessening the amount of toxins and synthetics in my life and my family’s.  I plan to start a 5 Day Cleanse in the next two days and am hoping cleaning out my insides will make it even better!

The year is also getting planned up with some excitement.  I think the girls are going to be a lot of fun this summer—more fun if Heidi can learn to sleep… Aside from camping on Kevin’s scheduled days off (and Nola is asking to go camping regularly now) we are planning our yearly trip to Seattle for the second week of June.  We didn't go last year due to the uncertainty of Heidi’s heart condition but are very confident to make the trip this year.  Only a few days after returning home, I’ll be packing my bags for a week-long trip to Utah with other Red Deerians to attend the Young Living Convention!  Really looking forward to that and giving my business an added push.

We’re also hoping to get to Las Vegas in September to celebrate Kevin’s 40^th birthday.  I've never been to Vegas and he hasn't been in quite some time.  Hopefully another couple, good friends of ours, will be able to make the trip with us!  Will be looking forward to some hot dry heat from the desert during our chilly fall!

Did I mention I've signed Nola up for soccer in July?  Sure did, reluctantly.  It was a lot of money for a little three year old to run around chasing a ball for one hour a week…but I’m sure she’ll like it and it’ll be good exercise and fresh air.

OK, it’s quiet.  What do I do??  Inevitably I’ll stop writing, post this, shut my computer off and she’ll start up again and likely last another hour…  But as long as I sit here staring at this screen and moving my fingers she’s completely quiet.  When does Murphy move out?  I realize every family with small children has an invisible Elf named Murphy running around… but mine can move out any time.  Sigh.  I love my kid so much it hurts.  I’d never do this for anyone else, surely.  And don’t call me Shirley.

OK, now my mind is being silly.  Wonder how many of you really understand that last paragraph?  I barely go… Ah, there she goes again.  Not sure I’d know what to do with silence in the night anyway.

And for those of you reading this and worrying about my child’s well-being… Yes she’s crying, not frantically.  I go in at scheduled 10 minute intervals to tell her I’m still here and that I love her and that’s it’s time to sleep.  She is not with an empty tummy lying in a pool of her own feces wondering where all human contact has gone, so you can put the phone down and save Child Services for another day (I say that with sarcasm).

Anyway, I've felt this to be quite therapeutic.  I think I shall have to prioritize this into a more routine occurrence as I used to.

G’night.