Done With the Judgement.

I’m sure we were all in that position.  That time before children, when we’d look at others and pass judgement about the way they were parenting or about their child’s behaviour.

I’m done.  It’s over.  I’m totally finished.

Not that Nola has been a trying child.  She’s actually been quite good.  She didn’t have colic; she’s always been a pretty good sleeper, good eater, fun and easy going.

Yes, she has been fussy and sick and trantrum-y too.  Now we’re struggling with an upset in sleep pattern.  This is exhausting because it’s so out of the norm.  She was so easy to put down or leave with others.  Now she needs to be touching me in some way for most of the day.  I may not leave the room without her and my hips are taking a beating because of how much she all of a sudden needs to be held.  At bed time I feel like I’m a prisoner in her room.  She won’t let me leave so long as she’s awake… Why?  Dunno.  It’s like she’s scared to death.

Such is life.  I’ve realized children are a constant stream of phases.  Everything is literally a phase.  Have you ever heard Darius Rucker sing “It Won’t Be Like This For Long”?  Great song.  Just when I’m getting used to one thing, it’s over.

Anyway, back to my point.  I’ve been running in circles about how I can best help Nola get back on track.  Do I put her in bed with me?  Let her cry it out?  What do the experts say?  What about other Mom’s?  It’s a bit much.

The best advice I ever got is from my friend Jess: “Do what works until it doesn’t.”  This seems to be indirectly what all my other Mommy friends have been saying also.  “Follow your heart/gut”, “Go with your instinct”, “Trust yourself”.

I have been.

I can no longer look at any one parent and pass judgement about how old their kid is and STILL has a soother.  I’m done.

I will not criticize that much-too-old child for still having the bottle.

Or not being potty trained.

Or screaming a fit at the grocery store.  I mean, my God, where are the parents?  Oh, I know where they are.  Wishing they were enjoying a beer in peace and quiet on some deserted island—like me.

Breast fed or bottle fed?  Co sleeping or own room?  Did you start your child on VEGETABLES before FRUIT??

All done.

Parenting, I’m realizing, is a game of survival.  It probably always will be.

And that’s ok.

Because guess what?  As quoted by my friend Shannon, “It kinda doesn’t really matter what you do.  They all end up to be smart mouthed teenagers anyway.”

Good luck Mommies.

I’m done judging.